“So, in the child, besides the vital impulse to create himself, and to become perfect, there must be yet another purpose, a duty to fulfill in harmony, something he has to do in the service of a united whole.” - Maria Montessori

We often view our toddlers as babies and overlook their capability to learn various skills and the importance of them being a part of society. Young children thrive on structure and order. Some of the very first “lessons” given to a child when they enter the Montessori classroom are those of grace and courtesy. These lessons are given throughout the environment and are practiced daily. What is Grace and Courtesy? It is a lesson that teaches the child social skills, manners, and respect for themselves and others. Grace and Courtesy lessons incorporate the way we communicate with one another and how we move our bodies in the environment and vary throughout the child’s development and based on their specific culture. Children must be nurtured in the ways of grace, courtesy, and service to others, in order to flourish.

Dr. Maria Montessori said that children 3 years and younger have an unconscious, absorbent mind. Young children unconsciously absorb their daily communication with their parents, extended family and friends, adult movements in their environment, and everything else within their surroundings. What does Grace and Courtesy look like in the toddler environment at TTMS? Grace and Courtesy is modeled through our everyday movements and how we communicate with one another.

Here are some examples of Grace and Courtesy in the toddler environment:

• How we greet one another; adult to adult/adult to children/children to children
• How to shake hands
• Welcoming visitors and observers to the environment
• Being mindful of how we move our bodies in the classroom (walking indoors, moving carefully in the environment, etc.)
• How we speak to one another using the appropriate tone of voice
• We sit down and eat at a table with the children and model how we eat and socialize with one another
• How to carry and use materials gently and carefully
• Asking questions such as, “can I help you?” and modeling how we invite a child to join a lesson
• Modeling good hygiene (coughing or sneezing in the elbow, washing hands, brushing teeth, etc.)
• Giving one another space when requested
• Sitting on a chair and pushing it in after each use

What’s so special about young children is they already have an innate desire to be gracious and courteous with one another. As adults we need to support the children by gently modeling and encouraging this tendency. At the toddler level, Grace and Courtesy lessons are given through demonstrations and modeling which children absorb through observation and with their powerful, unconscious, absorbent minds. By modeling and demonstrating Grace and Courtesy to a child at a very young age this will support peaceful and positive social interactions that they will carry throughout their life.

Sophie Nguon, TTMS Toddler Guide

March 2024